


Black & White

by Yikesgrey



Category: Welcome to Nightvale, wtnv
Genre: Angst, Carlos - Freeform, Celios - Freeform, Comforting Carlos, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Relationship Problems, after other world, carlos/Cecil Palmer - Freeform, cecil palmer - Freeform, welcome to nightvale - Freeform, wtnv - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-11-21 10:47:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11355909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yikesgrey/pseuds/Yikesgrey
Summary: Carlos came back. The rain came back. Would Carlos leave with the rain or would he stay. Why we're all the answers so grey.Heavily inspired by The Sky is Falling by lemightyworrier. Please go check it out!





	1. One - Numb

**Author's Note:**

  * For [My girlies](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=My+girlies).



> This is a story I'm hoping to finish. It will be based around many depressive themes so be warned.

The rain came as it always had, and it would leave as it always did. I stood transfixed as sheets of water battered our desert town. The clouds flashed as low rumbling could be felt in my chest. 

"Cecil?" The front door creaked open behind me as Carlos stepped out. I didn't reply, or maybe I couldn't. He walked up next to me. No words left his mouth, he just hummed. Then we both just stood there as rain created rivers in the once dry and cracked ground. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, hesitant. I looked over, and Carlos' eyes quickly brightened. 

"Yea, just," I paused "the rain.". Carlos held my hand now, though I couldn't register the gesture as being real. 

"Yea," he nodded as I once again turned my head to the raging storm. We once again stood together in a comfortable atmosphere where no words were shared. We both simply listened to the rain and the low rumbling of thunder with our hands intertwined. 

"Thank you." I said, the words seeming blunt to my ears, not enough. Not enough to communicate the meaning of what seemed like simple words.

"For what?" he squeezed my hand. I stopped just taking a second to breathe in the petrichor air. 

"For coming back" Carlos intook a sharp breath. He let my hand fall to my side, and gripped the hand rail. I watched as his knuckles turned white. 

"I'm sorry, Cece," he looked down as large drooplets of water fell off the overhang. 

"I'm sorry I left you alone." The atmosphere felt as though it could be cut by a knife. I felt like if I stood out there any longer I wouldn't be able to breathe.

"Let's go to sleep" I said, I couldn't take it. I turned around, opening the door. I heard it slam behind me as a quickly paced to the room that we shared. Carlos did not follow, I felt pangs of guilt rattle my heart. 

I sat down on the edge of the bed, and let my head find my hands. I felt numb. I felt like I was on fire but I couldn't feel the flames melt my skin. I continued to stare towards the wooden ground. 

Hours had passed before a switch seemed to click in my head. I jumped, but quickly regained awareness of my surroundings. Carlos quietly slept next to me. He had his head resting on a pillow he had brought to lay next to my thigh. 

I sighed before getting to my feet, desperately trying not to wake Carlos. The floor boards creaked under me as I grabbed a jacket and slipped on shoes. I left the house without a thought or a regret.

Rain drops decorated my shoulders as I sat in the leather seat of my car. Whispering something into the cup holder and fiddling with the stick it began to hum with life. I pulled out of the drive way and drove. 

I just drove. The repeating pattern of wiping off the rain on the windsheild and it collecting again. Tears found there way down my cheeks and only then I pulled over. 

"God, what have I done" I whispered looking up. I stared up at the gray celling.

What have I done.


	2. Two - Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos is worrying. Cecil disappears without any more than tire tracks in the mud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully you enjoy this chapter! I'm working on making them longer. Updating will be slow due to stuff in my life currently, but I hope you enjoy!

I stood in the door frame, idle, silent. Cecil sat at the end of the bed his head in his hands. I sighed though not a sigh of annoyance, just worry. I walked over, quiet steps as to not disturb him.

I wasn't sure if he could be bothered by the sound of my steps. He wasn't there. He was off in his head, I didn't blame him. I sat down next to him too many worries and possiblities buzzing around in my head. I laid down, I couldn't ignore my obvious exhaustion anymore. The room was silent except for the pattering of rain on the roof. 

I didn't know if Cecil and I could ever bounce back. No matter how deserprate I was to help. The thought made my chest feel heavy. There was no one to blame but myself for the horrible condition Cecil was in. His hair was brittle through his fingers and his body didn't fill out his clothes. 

I let myself listen to the rain and Cecil's breathing. I grabbed a pillow from the top of the bed and turned my body. I placed the pillow next to Cecil. The fabric was cold when I finally rested my head. 

"I'm sorry, Cece" I whispered as my eyelids got heavy. Thunder rumbled over the house. 

"I love you" my eye lids finally closed as I let the world drift off.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 

The morning came with no sun only clouds that covered the sky, and a rain that had no end in sight. I fluttered my eyes open breaking from the grip of sleep. My first observation being the absence of Cecil.

"Cecil?" I called out getting to my feet. The only response being the creaking of the floor boards under my weight. I felt worry start to bubble in my stomach. 

"Cecil?" I yelled much louder than before. I quickly ran out of the room and found myself in a empty house. My heart felt as though it was beating in my throat. 

"Cecil?" I choked on the words as I paced towards the front door. I scrambled to get it open noticing that it had been unlocked. God why did I have to fall asleep. I rushed out the door not bothering to close it behind me. The rain made ripples in the many puddles. The car was gone the only sign of it being there were tire tracks already filled with water. I watched as the rain counties to fall as my heart dropped.

"Dammit!" My hands pulled at my hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading !


	3. Three - Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Delusional, Cecil had to be delusional. For that 'dream' was too good to be true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Sorry I haven't updated. I just hit a really rough patch so writing is hard. Hopefully I can keep working on this story. Enjoy!

I woke up with the inability to breathe and a pounding head ache. I quickly fumbled with the door handle, pushing it open. I gasped for the fresh air and felt it enter my lungs through quick breathes. Rain drops decorated my grey shirt from the tears of the clouds above me. Panic left my body as I crawled back into the car.

I couldn't say that finding myself in the middle of no where was new. It'd happened countless times ever-since Carlos had been gone. My brain reeled at the name. I remembered the prior night. I quickly rushed to start the car. The secret whispered barely understand, though the car still sputtered to a start.

The wheels screeched at the sharp turn on the cracked pavement. Rain streaked on the windshield in front of me. I felt doubt bubble in my head at my own memory as I sped down the empty road. Instances where dreams were too good to be true had happened. Where I woke up to an empty house littered with empty liquor bottles. 

This had to be true? It was too damn real to be a dream. I drove faster and faster until I was met with the home I shared with just the thought of someone for far too long. Carlos was inside. He had to be. I jumped out of the car feeling the muddy water jump up my leg. I ran up the wooden stairs and quickly opened the door leaving a trail of mud behind me all the way.

"Carlos?!" I yelled feeling tears well up in my eyes, he was there. He had to be there.

No Answer.

"Carlos?" I whimpered my heart dropping. My body felt far too heavy as I stepped forward. 

no. answer.

"Please," I cried as I fell down to my knees as my legs gave out. Then I was back. In my car. Raindrops on the windshield. The clouds crying. An inability to breathe. The dream (?) was all too real. It was all too real. Was I in some kind of time loop? Had to be. Carlos had been gone too long. He wasn't coming back. 

I hit my head on the steering wheel the horn echoing on the seemingly abandoned road. My yell of frustration echoing in my ears.

"Okay." I stated simply as I tried to recollect myself. Wether I was stuck in a rip in time or a dream or whatever fucked up situation that could come. I needed to collect myself. Whispering the secret and jiggling the stick. I turned around and drove home. I didn't speed. I didn't drive too slow. I just drove. Until I was at the drive way I had familiarized myself with.

The wheels pulled into the same tracks that had filled with water. I stared ahead at the house that looked more somber in the blue-grey light. I listened to the pattering of the rain on the metal roof. I creaked the door open and watched as rain drops gathered on my hand and wrist.

I stepped out and ran up to the deck before I just began to stare at the door knob. Carlos wouldn't be inside. He was never there. I had not stared out at the rain with him last night. We had not argued. He had never been there. Something in me still just wanted to beg for him to be there. For him to be making breakfast and sipping coffee with far too much creamer for my liking. For there not to be green and brown tinted bottles covering the counters.

I turned the brass knob and pushed open the door. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. My gut felt like it was going to collapse. Like a star becoming a black hole.

"Carlos?" My voice raw, called out, yet too hollow for the situation. I was too hollow. Then I saw him. His face buried in his knees in the middle of the room. His hair disheveled from obvious distress. It felt like the world became more colorful. Like I was seeing his face for the first time all over again. 

"Carlos?" My voice cracked as he looked up from the ball he was curled up in.

"Cece-" he jumped up hugging me.

"I'm sorry," He said his arms around me and his head in my chest. Was it a wrong time to feel self-conscious because of how my ribs protruded from my body. I felt defeated.

"I thought-" I paused "I thought you never came back. I thought this was all a dream. A rip in time. A delusion. Just, God." We stood in silence, never letting go of each other. He smelt of honey over the liquor. 

"Cece, I'm here." He whispered.

"God, I'm here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Updating as fast as I can write


	4. Four - Golden Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They would have their highs and lows. Though they found themselves so high after being so low.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Lovlies! Sorry for taking so long writing this I've had severe writers block :,). 
> 
> P.s. I'd like to warn you guys that there won't be many affectionate pet names (dear, love, ect.) I just don't feel comfortable reading those words after a prior relationship. I'll try and work through it but please don't expect it for now!
> 
> Have fun reading!!

Cecil came back, I didn't doubt that he would not. He had to right? Though I guess all this questioning didn't make sense, if he was already sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. I made a simple breakfast, scrambled eggs. I glanced over at Cecil to see his head resting on his knees as he was curled in a ball. He seemed to be staring at nothing, presumed to be lost in his own thoughts. 

I finished the eggs before I buttered some toast and put it on a plate for Cecil. It was truly strange to return to the feelings of hunger, thirst, and even pain. In general the desert other world was truly strange. I would have made myself a plate though I guess not eating for so long made it so I didn't desire to have any food. I guess I'd also have to get used to plugging in my phone at night too. I glanced over at the dead phone on the counter. Cecil stirred on the couch.

"Hey, it's done." I called to him in a warm tone as I walked on the creaky floor boards over to Cecil. All of it felt so familiar in a distant sense. Cecil groaned pulling the blanket over his head. I smiled walking in front of him, gently pulling the blanket off of his face. The rain had finally stopped causing warm morning light to finally filter through the clouds and into the living room. 

"Carlos!" he squeaked in surprise as I pulled him up with our hands intertwined. I wrapped my arms around his neck as everything seemed to just melt away in the golden light, even if just for a little while. Cecil ran his hands through my hair, smiling.

"Perfect Carlos" he hummed, lightly kissing me. The action felt like coming back to your home after a trip. I was home, and I couldn't understand why I'd ever not want to be here.

"Breakfast?" I said sheepishly still with a smile on my face. He only grinned as we both paced over to the table, hands laced together. I brought him his plate before hand so we both sat down opposite of each other. We then proceeded to be in a comfortable silence. Me staring out the window and him eating.

Cecil ate half the food on his plate before pushing it a little further in front of him. I reached out my hands to meet his, sensing his discomfort. I began to trace patterns into his knuckles and palms with calloused fingers.

"Sorry," he took a deep breathe in "it's not that your cooking is bad, in fact quite the opposite just," he paused,closing his eyes and clenching his jaw.

"It's okay, I know." I muttered as he opened his eyes, our glances meeting. He raised a eyebrow.

"It's okay, really. Whatever you need, okay?" He nodded letting out a breathe I didn't know he was holding. 

"Coffee?" I asked, easily picking up on his small nod and the smile creeping at the corners of his mouth. I got up getting two mugs out and pouring the coffee I had made earlier into both.

"Still no creamer?" I playfully questioned setting the mug infront of him. He laughed as I walked over to the fridge. I opened it to see it mostly bare with various bottles of creamer never opened or used. Most of them probably expired. I tried not to show my frown as I grabbed the one closest to the front of the fridge. Though the habit gave a pang of sadness it was endearing to know he kept getting the object in my absence. It's hard to fall out of habits especially when your trying to forget anything had ever changed. 

"You remembered?" He laughed with false excitement not noticing my change in mood. I sat back down across from him. 

"How could I forget something so important!" I exclaimed as we both then drifted into a silence drinking our coffee. 

"Hey, I'm sorry about last night." Cecil said looking down at the brown liquid in the mug in front of him. 

"I understand. Really, again it's fine." I explained giving him a reassuring smile. I didn't need to to continue. I didn't have to, I knew he was trying to get through what had happened, what I did. So we just countinued to drink our coffee listening to the birds chirp outside. There was no tension residing in the air. It all felt natural, we both just enjoyed each other's presences, no need for filler conversation.

"What time are you leaving for work?" I asked drinking the rest of the coffee in my mug. Cecil looked over at the time on the microwave squinting his violet eyes.

"In 30 minutes, so I'm actually gonna go get ready" he uttered walking off towards the bedroom quickly, always losing track of time. I got up grabbing Cecil and I's coffee mugs. I began to clean them in the sink. I had decided to return to the lab today. Though I definitely doubted that there would be any new progress in the research. I was always the one of the group to encourage any new projects or even working in general. Then again sometimes I didn't even know if the research I was doing would amount to anything at all. Sure nightvale was a scientific anomoly in every way but was what I was doing important? Did finding out time flowed different or even investigating any of the strange phenomenon that I do, was it worth the time and effort? It's not like I'd ever be able to show the world what I found out. Sometimes I think I'll never even be able to leave the quaint town of nightvale.

Cecil always tried to assure me that what I was doing was important. I never told him that I worried about the things that I did. Leaving nightvale never seemed to cross Cecil's mind, so I didn't want to be the reason it would ever have to. But I guess I already ruined that thought in the desert other world. Cecil really did help, he does so much more than he gives himself credit for. Him calling me perfect always seemed so strange. I fell so far from perfect while he fell so close.

"Hey, I'm about to leave. Can't be late, station management, you know." Cecil said from behind me snapping me out of my own thoughts. I quickly turned to see him wearing his vest and tie. 

"Yea, I'm going to the lab today, but don't be afraid to message me if anything happens?" I smiled giving him a quick hug. 

"Of course, um" he gave a quick glance at the clock his eyes widening "I'm running late, bye!" He yelled from outside the quickly closing door. 

"Please don't let me further mess this up." I mumbled to myself a small grin on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!!! Updating as soon as I can get myself to write!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I'll update as soon as possible.


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